Guest writer Rebecca Wolfe reviews a new twist on the classic holiday meal. Should you serve this pseudo-bird at your festivities? Read on and decide for yourself!
Just in time for the holidays, you too can enjoy that warm fuzzy feeling inside that comes only from a time-honoured, traditional home-cooked feast. Well, if home-cooked also means processed, vacuum-sealed and conveniently packaged for commercial distribution. But I digress.
Being one of the many vegetarians who grew up consuming meat and other animal products, I have at times struggled to find satisfying substitutes in my critter-friendly diet. Faux-meats and meat substitutes can often be disappointing, but I have generally been pleased with the Tofurky product line (including deli slices, veggie sausages, and more). They usually taste great, have a satisfying texture, and are relatively inexpensive. Given the track record, I was delighted to see the deluxe Tofurky Feast in my local grocer’s freezer, accompanied by a lovely sign urging, “Save a turkey! Buy a Tofurky!”. The meal, priced at a reasonable $25 CDN, included apple-cranberry dumplings, “giblet” and mushroom gravy, Tofurky Jurky Wishstix, and the granddaddy of them all, the Tofurky roast (pre-stuffed with wild rice stuffing).
A side note – Read the box wellllll in advance of preparing the above-mentioned products. Yes, they are all pre-cooked, but the dumplings require some finagling and the roast should ideally be thawed the night before your meal. I can only assume this is intended as some kind of homage to genuine turkey roasting, as faux-meats are typically ready to eat after having been briefly popped in the microwave. I was therefore unexpectedly in something of a state of panic, sitting with a few pounds of frozen Tofurky goodness in my lap about two hours before the family dinner, but luckily the instructions also include a “quick roast” option.
The roast itself is roughly the size of a small ham or turkey loaf (or maybe something comparable to a large cantaloupe). Just as you would cook a turkey, you stick it in a roasting pan with the basting of your choice (they provide some easy recipe suggestions) for moisture and flavour. Like a turkey, you also continue to baste and stab and turn the Tofurky every so often to keep it cooking evenly. When the roast is almost ready, you microwave the gravy, prep the dumplings (boil and fry), and break out the Wishstix!
Ah, the Wishstix. This is apparently the Tofurky version of a wishbone. The Wishstix are made of a jerky-esque product, essentially two strips - one visibly longer than the other – that are affixed in the centre... sort of like two pieces of liquorice that got stuck together and can come apart really easily. Any person with a functioning eye or two will immediately note which side will win, so some of the fun is taken out of this, but I appreciated the token nonetheless. And, unlike a real wishbone, you can eat the Wishstix – though my fiancé and I concur that you don’t really want to.
The roast itself was quite satisfying indeed, though it had something of a rubbery-hotdog-like texture and taste. This may have been due in part to my “quick roasting”, so next time I will be sure to conscientiously thaw well in advance! The gravy and dumplings were somewhat mediocre but not-unpleasant additions to the feast. If you have the time, I recommend making your own, but in a rush these work just fine.
Overall, the Tofurky Feast seems to be a well-intentioned but somewhat lacklustre combo product. I find it suffers only for its inevitable processed taste and presentation, which is to be expected. Being the comfort-food junkie that I am, I will absolutely buy the roast again for special occasions (putting all the previously mentioned efforts in, of course), but will pass on the side dishes, as everything is available separately.
So, veggie friends, there you have it – a viable cruelty-free meal for all of your holiday needs! Just make sure you break the Wishstix with a near-sighted elderly relative.
